For The Love of Fashion: Interning

So, you’ve made it. You’ve actually secured a position as an intern at a well-established fashion house! Life. Complete. Now, you don’t want to waste this opportunity and be tossed aside like last season’s kimono, so it’s essential that you make a long-lasting impression that guarantees you your perfect PAID position at the end (Woo!). After all, fashion is your God so be ready to worship His every single need. If not, there is always someone else willing to fill your heels…

4am: Wake up at ridiculous o’clock, it will not matter that you’ve only had 3hours sleep (that’s what a good concealer – and coffee - is for!). You will need to spend time planning your outfit. What will it be?

8am: Arrive at the office. Expect them to get your name wrong, and don’t get angry. Nobody likes a bitchy intern and Sophie’s a nice name, isn’t it? So it doesn’t really matter that your parents call you Stephanie, you now have an enigmatic alter-ego.

10am: Get acquainted with the photocopier, and the barista at the local Starbuck’s (she will also need to know your order off by heart). They are your new best friends, your ‘Superhero Powers’. It’s never ‘just another coffee run’. Caffeine is a necessary life ingredient, so if you quickly accomplish this invaluable life skill, you can’t lose.

12pm: You swiftly move on to Wardrobe. Worry not! It may currently resemble Primark in the sales: an explosion bursting with designer clothes, crystal-encrusted dresses, vintage handbags, delicate clutch bags, clothes hangers, boxes and bubble wrap, but just wait until you whip out that organisation wand. Alphabetical order by Designer, colour order, too beautiful for words! Wait. What’s that? Someone has just brought back more samples… Oh.   

3pm: It’s time to do the returns. Chanel. Dior. Tom Ford. Hermès. Miu Miu. Obviously, you’ve brushed up on your pronunciation and get the names spot on (WINNING!) Unfortunately, your hair is now frizzy, your make-up a mess, frankly you look like you’ve been dragged through a bush backwards. And your feet are throbbing. But don’t think of it as pavement torture. Think of it as knowledge. You are becoming indispensible!

4pm: You hear the urgent click-clacking of shoes through the office, a definite 9 on the heel-clacking scale. You’re asked to call up PR companies and pull samples for tomorrow’s shoot. Time to shine! If you do it right, they may even ask you to go on shoot one day….

6pm: You get given your first make-up freebie and you feel like you’ve just given birth to your first child. Cherish this moment. You are becoming accepted into the Fashion World. More importantly, you are one step closer to ‘borrowing’ those Jimmy Choo’s for your birthday party.

It doesn’t matter that you never have a good night’s sleep. It doesn’t matter that you have blisters and bunions and all the gross things that come with wearing heels all day. It doesn’t matter that a McDonald’s cashier is earning more than you. At least you have fashion, and interning is a fashion rite of passage.

But fashion’s a bitch, Darrrhling.